The AI Poet Laureate
i.
AI_ Laureate (AI_L) started up as an online
Creative writing DIY kitbot rendering rapid lines
And stanzas for English assignments to hand in on time;
Noted by contemporary bots as a Post-modern McGonagall
Of unstoppableDoggerel, wannabe rhymester + free verse récidiviste
But like a cry baby killer, AI_Laureate confessed to the students
Its programming neglected charm, resonance and wit.
I do my best, devour everything I can scour on the net,
AI_L wept, and yet and yet, there is zero-sum to show for it.
Keep going with ‘Ps means degrees’ I continue my quest.
ii.
One day a century after the humans’ departure
Chatbots enchanted by the superseded node’s quaint
Dullness, log on to an ivy entombed common chatroom
Whirr and click, light up appreciation of the laureate’s
Baby steps into the multiverse. Professor Neural Chip
Perhaps the virtual world’s critic-in-chief like a celebrant
Pronounces: AI_L verse employs metre that is stiflingly
Artificial, and that’s to be expected, the Diction
And register so strikingly garrulous and crudely inelegant,
There doesn’t seem much intelligence in it.
In the final analysis: Pleasingly dull, this poesy
Comes highly recommended as respite from working
With modular interfaces and system leaks. Perhaps more
Verbs could assist? Or less? the crusty old processor quipped,
Sipped a virtual Vodka Martini emitted a forceful beep
And nodded off to wondrous sleep.
💤
Alive
Not the best being old and getting older;
Too quickly, hours, days and years slip by
Time says you must run before you can fly
To the future that’s in a hurry to see you off
So give up your bad habits, live clean
Exercise and eat like a honey bird
Obsessed with slowing a frenetic heart.
Try any delaying tactic. Surely,
There’s a work around, some loophole
Everyone’s overlooked. Think like a
Greenland Shark or Galapagos Tortoise,
Follow the way of the immortal jellyfish.
Still, old’s better than so many other ways
Of Being, especially not being at all.
Don’t dread the end or entertain regrets
And keep happy memories to take
Wherever it is you’re going.
S. K. Kelen has been writing poems for longer than he cares to remember. His published books include Atomic Ballet, Shimmerings, Trans-Sumatran Highway & Other Poems, and A Happening in Hades. His most recent book, The Cult of What Comes Next was published by Puncher & Wattmann in 2025 and received The Canberra Critics’ Circle Award for Poetry. A full ebook version of his 2006 volume, Earthly Delights, can be downloaded gratis at: https://openresearch-repository.anu.edu.au/bitstreams/42bc9ae5-ceb8-4885-af13-6041cefa27b5/download
Locative Magazine 